The Road Not Taken

I love you, China

yinhu — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:46:02 +0000

   ”I love you, China!” I want to cry out it from my heart. As time goes by, the Olympic Game hosted by our country is coming close more and more. All Chinese people at home and abroad take pride in such a honorable thing and expect to welcome it day in and day out.
         However, to our indignation,recently, the tiny group of separatists abroad collaborated with those at home, and looked for opportunities to carry out splittist and sabotage activities with the support of international anti-China forces during the process of Olympic Torch Relay. They intervene and impede the flame delivery at times. For example, some Tibet-independence holders broke into the process of Torch Relay and made a surprising attack on Jinjing ,a Chinese torchbearer in France on the 7th of April . What a scandalous action! This is just one instance. At any rate, their reptile and mean actions aggravate us seriously. Now our government have taken measures to require French government to response us reasonably. In addition, Chinese people assemble to protest to French and protect our rights strongly.
         What’s more, China is the factor that make world peace. I believe every peace-loving person will back up the unification of China as well as the Olympic Games held by China.
         I just want to warn those separatists and anti-China forces to know that Tibet is the part of China and nobody can separate it. At the same time, the Olympic Games which may become the greatest one will be held smoothly in China.
         Finally, I want to cry out again that I love you ,China and hold you forever.

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Into the Darkness

yinhu — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 09:07:54 +0000

When Kristi and I shared the news with our children, they quietly absorbed the pain. Siblings of cancer patients are often left out of the loop, but we were determined to be aware of their needs, to help them put words to their feelings.

Soon after the diagnosis, everyone in the family had a blood test in the hope that one of us would be eligible bone-marrow donor. The probability of finding a perfect match among siblings was one in four. Outside the family, it could be in 20,000 or worse.

On March 20, Kristi called me at work to share some good news, “Amy is a perfect match!”

It was our first taste of tangible hope. But how do you explain a bone-marrow transplant to a 6-year-old?

“Amy,” I said, “after they takeaway Michael’s bad blood cells that make him sick, you can give him some of your good cells to make him better.” Amy, a child who gives as naturally as she breathes, cheerfully accepted her special role. As time went by, though, we sensed that Amy was becoming either uncomfortable with the attention or afraid. Yet she was still willing.

As a result of the donor search, however, a dark cloud cast a shadow over our hope. Our insurance policy, which had paid for Michael’s care so far, had a 12-month waiting period on benefits related to organ transplants. Since I had signed up for coverage only five months before, the insurance company wasn’t obliged to pay for the transplant.

But surely, I thought, such stipulations are meant to scare off people shopping for coverage after they discover they need surgery. How could the insurance company refuse a baby with a sudden onset of leukemia?

We began the long struggle through the jumble of institutional red tape, realizing that the crushing weight of Michael’s medical bills could fall entirely on our shoulders. The bone-marrow transplant, would cost more than ‘200,000. We would gladly pay that to save any one of our children-but how could we pay it?

On May 12, our son’s doctor told us that Michael was in transition to acute leukemia and needed the transplant soon. My little boy was dying, and we were down to our last ‘500.

At daybreak the next morning, as I wrote in my journal, my words formed a prayer. The morning stillness moved me with a sense of God’s utter compassion, and a deep calming came in a whisper to my soul. Somehow I sensed that my heavenly Father had everything under control.

Later that day, I discussed our situation with Kamiakin’s principal, Steven Mezich, who had expressed concern about Michael. “Jeff,” he said, “with your permission I want to propose a fund-raiser to the faculty at this afternoon’s staff meeting, to help your family.”

I was stunned. Steven’s thoughtful offer raised my spirits, though I doubted it could do much to boost us over such a huge and urgent financial hurdle.

After talking with Steven, I spent the afternoon at the welfare office applying for aid. When I came home, Kristi’s eyes were glistening. After the faculty meeting, Detra Markey, our vice-principal, had visited to bring toys for the kids-and a check for ‘ 500. Her little boy suffered from a heart condition, yet she was concerned about our son. His unexpected gift overwhelmed us.

I arrived at school the next morning to find my mailbox stuffed with envelopes from the Kamiakin staff-treasures of wishes for Michael’s recovery, prayers, loving support, ‘350 cash, and checks. The day before, we had nothing but a prayer, now we could see the hand of God.

The outpouring of love from these friends moved me to tears. But that Friday after school, I witnessed the most amazing act of kindness I could imagine.

Dameon Sharkey, a student from my adaptive physical education class, walked into my office with his mom and gave me his life savings of ‘ 60-all in ‘ 5 bills. Dameon, a 13-year-old with a few learning difficulties, faced his own mountains of adversity. Yet this young man set aside his struggle to lift the burden from my shoulders.

When Dameon left, walking tall and proud, I went immediately to Steve Mezich’s office. We agreed that Dameon’s gift should be used to establish “The Michael Leeland Fund.”

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Love, love me do

yinhu — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 07:18:43 +0000

Scanning the brains of people in love is also helping to refine science’s grasp of love’s various forms. Helen Fisher, a researcher at Rutgers University, and the author of a new book on love, suggests it comes in three flavours: lust, romantic love and long-term attachment. There is some overlap but, in essence, these are separate phenomena, with their own emotional and motivational systems, and accompanying chemicals. These systems have evolved to enable, respectively, mating, pair-bonding and parenting.

Lust, of course, involves a craving for sex. Jim Pfaus, a psychologist at Concordia University, in Montreal, says the aftermath of lustful sex is similar to the state induced by taking opiates. A heady mix of chemical changes occurs, including increases in the levels of serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin and endogenous opioids (the body’s natural equivalent of heroin). “This may serve many functions, to relax the body, induce pleasure and satiety, and perhaps induce bonding to the very features that one has just experienced all this with”, says Dr Pfaus.

Then there is attraction, or the state of being in love (what is sometimes known as romantic or obsessive love). This is a refinement of mere lust that allows people to home in on a particular mate. This state is characterised by feelings of exhilaration, and intrusive, obsessive thoughts about the object of one’s affection. Some researchers suggest this mental state might share neurochemical characteristics with the manic phase of manic depression. Dr Fisher’s work, however, suggests that the actual behavioural patterns of those in love–such as attempting to evoke reciprocal responses in one’s loved one–resemble obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

That raises the question of whether it is possible to “treat” this romantic state clinically, as can be done with OCD. The parents of any love-besotted teenager might want to know the answer to that. Dr Fisher suggests it might, indeed, be possible to inhibit feelings of romantic love, but only at its early stages. OCD is characterised by low levels of a chemical called serotonin. Drugs such as Prozac work by keeping serotonin hanging around in the brain for longer than normal, so they might stave off romantic feelings. (This also means that people taking anti-depressants may be jeopardising their ability to fall in love.) But once romantic love begins in earnest, it is one of the strongest drives on Earth. Dr Fisher says it seems to be more powerful than hunger. A little serotonin would be unlikely to stifle it.

Wonderful though it is, romantic love is unstable–not a good basis for child-rearing. But the final stage of love, long-term attachment, allows parents to co-operate in raising children. This state, says Dr Fisher, is characterised by feelings of calm, security, social comfort and emotional union.

Because they are independent, these three systems can work simultaneously–with dangerous results. As Dr Fisher explains, “you can feel deep attachment for a long-term spouse, while you feel romantic love for someone else, while you feel the sex drive in situations unrelated to either partner.” This independence means it is possible to love more than one person at a time, a situation that leads to jealousy, adultery and divorce–though also to the possibilities of promiscuity and polygamy, with the likelihood of extra children, and thus a bigger stake in the genetic future, that those behaviours bring. As Dr Fisher observes, “We were not built to be happy but to reproduce.”

The stages of love vary somewhat between the sexes. Lust, for example, is aroused more easily in men by visual stimuli than is the case for women. This is probably why visual pornography is more popular with men. And although both men and women express romantic love with the same intensity, and are attracted to partners who are dependable, kind, healthy, smart and educated, there are some notable differences in their choices. Men are more attracted to youth and beauty, while women are more attracted to money, education and position. When an older, ugly man is seen walking down the road arm-in-arm with a young and beautiful woman, most people assume the man is rich or powerful.
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The Road Not Taken

yinhu — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 07:41:13 +0000

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Had worn them really about the same,
Though as for that the passing there

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back
I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–

I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

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